Litter - We Deliver

7/11/06 4:23 PM 0 Comments

Well, the last two days I've come home to find various door-hangers advertising a cell phone service I don't need and a religious gathering I don't want to attend. Basically litter - hanging from my front door.

Just because my front door already looks like it had a fight with Buffy doesn't mean that people need to make it look even worse and provide me with more refuse for my garbage bag. It's a $500 fine to throw something out of a car window, but apparently people can walk up and litter on my doorstep legitimately. They should at least have to pay a fee of some sort to me for my services in making sure their helpful flyers are disposed of properly. Especially since it is apparently monsoon season here on the North Coast.

I'm already dealing with the "Lost Boys" as Pregremlin calls them. Every week they show up with a bundle of circular advertisements for stores I rarely visit, advertising more things I don't need or buy. For those of you not privileged enough to receive the "Lost Boys" I will describe. The "Lost Boys" are part of an advertising schema called Shop-wise or some such that produces and distributes circular ads for companies for very little cost per piece. They base who receives these ads on regional demographic information. Companies can pay Shop-wise to deliver their ads in a radius of several miles. So far, I'm only getting local circulars which mean they are worthless. If there's something I need that I can get in this town, I already know where to get it and who has the lowest price. Shop-wise has found some kind of loop-hole in the postage system by bundling their ads with a small card that tells who the company delivering them to me is. On this card, they list a different missing person or two every week. Most of these people have gone missing half-way across the country from where I live, so I'm not sure how much good the program is doing.

Anyway, between the door-hangers, the "Lost Boys", and the 5-7 Victoria's Secret sales catalogs I receive every week, my garbage bin is full. For those of you who actually read this (and never comment), if you actually want to send me some more litter, do it electronically please. That way you're not competing with my weekly litterers and its way more environmentally conscious.


“If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.” – The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents