Karma: Symptoms of the Problem

5/15/06 10:26 PM 0 Comments

So, recently I had a string of really good luck. Being the big believer in karma that I am, I was already starting to look over my shoulder for the dark clouds to begin rolling in. Of course, Karma did not disappoint.

Symptom 1 - Traffic Jam:
Last night, PreGremlin, Citizen, and I ventured to the metropolis of Cleveland to see Live (the band) at the House of Blues. It was rainy and cold, but we made it. The opening act, Michael Shapiro, needs to learn to write lyrics instead of cliches, but his performance was tolerable. Live was awesome. They put on a high-energy show, which I wasn't expecting. We stayed for two sets, but skipped out on the encore so we could make it home at a reasonable hour (since we all had to work early this morning).

Enter Karma. Right after we turned onto the major highway that was to bring us home, we ran into a traffic jam. Of course we thought it was just an accident at first - a really bad accident since there were approximately 20 emergency services vehicles on the overpass above the highway and the stretch of freeway in front of us. People began turning off their cars and wandering around after waiting so long. Eventually, a police officer approached us and told everyone that they were going to have us turn around, starting at the back of the jam, and drive the wrong way back down the highway to another interchange. Of course this prompted a fellow driver to remark that several freeways had been closed and that he didn't know how he was going to get to the "Retirment home in [somewhere] to pick up his baby mama", and she was going to be pissed. One nosy citizen (not our Citizen) demanded to know what was causing the hold up, and an officer nonchalantly told us "Oh, we got a jumper up there".

Yes, apparently some idiot decided to try to commit suicide by jumping off of the overpass onto the freeway below. Here are my thoughts on this:

1. If you are really intending to kill yourself, you will take a gun and blow your head off, or you will research how to kill yourself to find another full-proof method for accomplishing the task. Anything less is just a cry for help.

2. Suicide attempts where the result is more likely to be injury, rather than death, are lame. The more likely you are to survive, the lamer you are in selecting that method. Obviously, jumping off of an overpass would rank very high in the Lame Category.

Thanks to this lame-o, I got 4 hours of sleep before starting a brand-new job today.

Symptom 2 - Bush on FOX:
I am a HUGE fan of the show Prison Break. I have religiously watched every show this season either at its regularly scheduled time, or via VHS recording (I'm too poor for TiVo, so I make due with this very ancient method of video capture). In fact, I love Prison Break so much, that I actually signed up on FOX's website to receive their adver-... I mean, updates about the show.

Enter Karma. Today the geniuses behind the newsletter received word that our beloved numbskull, President Bush, would be making a speech tonight during the 8 pm Prison Break season finale timeslot. These wonderful folks sent out an update at 6 pm to warn fans that the show would be delayed in broadcasting by twenty minutes, but would run in its entirety beginning at 8:20 pm and ending at 9:20 pm.

Of course, after faithfully checking my email around 4:00 pm, I started feeling the effects of Karma Symptom 1 and had to take a nap to prevent myself from passing out. Unfortunately, this resulted in my missing the two-hour notice to update my VCR and capture the finale of the show.

Bush has been successfully undermining many of the things I liked about our civil liberties during the last 6 years, but this took the cake for me. It's not enough for him to spy on everyone and generally take the country back into the realms of ultra-conservatism, he now has to hit me where it really hurts, one of the 10 hours of TV I actually enjoy each week. (And no, I don't just balme him for everything that goes wrong, but in this case, he equally shares the blame with FOX in my mind. Not like he even speaks well enough to have it televised).

Karmaic Predictions:
I am hoping in the light of the bad sweeps of karma I've had in the last 24 hours, a good sweep will come through and help me acquire a coveted new position I'm interviewing for tomorrow. If I can land this job, I may be able to begin resmuing a semi-normal life until the completion of my current educational pursuits. Of course, I expect to pay for this bit like I've paid for every other good bit of karma I've had. After the last two symptoms, I'm just hoping Symptom 3 won't be too devastating.


“If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.” – The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents