Ultimate Holiday Names (Proposed)
Due to extensive commercialization and political correctness, I propose that Americans rename their Holidays as follows:1/1 - Hangover Day
2/14 - Hearts, Candy, and Flowers Day
UPDATE: 3/14 Steak and Blowjob Day (for the Shoes guy - Check out his blog!)
3/17 - Green Beer Day
3/30 - National Goat Day
4/1 - Birth of the Ultimate Genius Day
3 or 4/?? - Bunny and Chicky Day
5/5 - Corona and Dos Equis Day
5/?? - Recuerde el Día Muerto (Remember the Dead Day)
7/4 - Fireworks Day
9/?? - No Work Day
10/31 - Costume Day
11/?? - Food Day
12/25 - Santa and Snow Day (Unless fat men who do a lot of B&E are now worshipped)
12/31 - Midnight Smooches Day
I'm sure that even these names won't pass muster. What's the world coming to when people have nothing better to complain about than holiday names?
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