Ultimate Holiday Names (Proposed)

4/16/06 10:11 PM 0 Comments

Due to extensive commercialization and political correctness, I propose that Americans rename their Holidays as follows:

1/1 - Hangover Day
2/14 - Hearts, Candy, and Flowers Day
UPDATE: 3/14 Steak and Blowjob Day (for the Shoes guy - Check out his blog!)

3/17 - Green Beer Day
3/30 - National Goat Day
4/1 - Birth of the Ultimate Genius Day
3 or 4/?? - Bunny and Chicky Day
5/5 - Corona and Dos Equis Day
5/?? - Recuerde el Día Muerto (Remember the Dead Day)
7/4 - Fireworks Day
9/?? - No Work Day
10/31 - Costume Day
11/?? - Food Day
12/25 - Santa and Snow Day (Unless fat men who do a lot of B&E are now worshipped)
12/31 - Midnight Smooches Day

I'm sure that even these names won't pass muster. What's the world coming to when people have nothing better to complain about than holiday names?


“If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.” – The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents