Top Ten Turkey Day Pet Peeves

11/23/05 11:53 PM 1 Comments

For your enjoyment, I have compiled a Top Ten of what I believe makes Turkey Day and other such holidays less than cheerful. I haven't had to experience all of these, but can imagine the suffering involved with each.

If you have had to experience any of these, you have my sympathy. If not, then you truly have something to be thankful for...

10. Weird food that you can't identify, let alone pretend to like.

9. Lame or -ist (you supply race, sex, etc.) jokes you have to pretend are funny.

8. Trying to fit 50,000,000 things into a two-day span.

7. Searching for the deeper meaning behind the holiday - ask Hallmark. I'm sure they have a card somewhere that explains it all.

6. Holiday drivers - if they can just squeeze in front of you, they'll save .2 seconds on their trip time.

5. Holiday cops - causing traffic jams and slow spots since 1971.

4. Itinerary Nazis - "what time will you be here?"

3. Idle, inconsequential, unbearable small talk that must go on for hours to fill the pre- and post- eating void.

2. Getting up extra early to spend most of the day in your car.

1. Without fail, Turkey-Eve snow.

Hope your holiday is blessed with an absence of these.


“If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.” – The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents


My personal favorite Thanksgiving tradition is being surrounded by Agards.